Like, this year.
What the fuck.
The last time I wrote the blog was on my son’s sixth birthday back in April, when I wondered how long this might go on for.
OH, HELLO NOVEMBER WITH NO END IN SIGHT?!
We’re mid-isolation for said son, as a kid in the afterschool club tested positive.
He openly scoffed in my face when I suggested home-schooling, and I overhead him chatting to his best buddy on the phone, telling her how he was planning to eat cocopops and play on Roblox for the next ten days.
Which, to be quite frank, wouldn’t be the end of the world, as we all try to desperately work from home.
The thing is, Lockdown part 1 was all, I’m going to start running on the empty roads, Houseparty my mates (errm- remember Houseparty?!) and book online shops months in advance to make sure we don’t run out of bog roll.
Lockdown part 2 is deffo the shit second album. I’m half a stone heavier, have the patience of a toddler and have adopted a can’t-be-all-that-fucked attitude to almost everything.
I’m assuming I’m not the only one feeling this, but it’s often hard to tell when your interactions with the world mainly consist of perving over insta influencers houses or chatting to the guy up the road in the newsagents.
I just feel like I need a rocket sized dose of motivation fired up my arse to get a bit of balance again.
Or something less painful.
Get those fucking trainers on. Learn to cook a curry from scratch. Watch something other than Corrie on the telly.
The other day I was so keen to leave the house and have a change of scene that I turned up for a smear test ten days early.
I didn’t even get right day, wrong week.
That was a conversation I don’t want to have to repeat with the hot young receptionist as I repeatedly shouted ‘SMEAR TEST’ through the intercom as he couldn’t understand what I was saying through my masked voice.
So yeah. Not really where we thought we’d all be at the moment, physically, mentally or otherwise.
But it’s Monday tomorrow.
The starter of all things new day.
So deep breath, and let’s home-school the fuck out of tomorrow while holding down a full time job.