School holidays go on for HOW LONG??

School holidays.

We’ve been hanging out for them for weeks.

Looking forward to not bollocking the kids to school.

Not having to remind someone to put their shoes on, brush their teeth, find their book bag, look for their coat.

Bliss.

It’s going to be one long sunny walk in the park, filled with laughter and sharing stories, finding out what’s going on inside their little heads, making memories, walking in the park. 

Did I say walking in the park?

Hang on, what’s this?

The house is a tip?

Everyone’s losing their shit because we ran out of Cocopops on day two?

How’s about the cinema. Everyone loves the cinema. I was only allowed to go there on special occasions and birthdays when I was growing up. Nope? Not interested in that any more? And when did I start to list shit I was ‘only allowed to go to on special occasions and birthdays’?

The sunny park that we’ve always loved is now boring? It’s boring now is it? Is it possible that we're all actually driving each other fucking mental after week one?

Is it? 

IS THAT WHAT'S GOING ON?

How did I forget this from last year? It must be like childbirth. The moment it’s over, your brain cancels out the trauma or you’d never do it again.

So, deep breath. Five weeks to go. A lot of that in a tent. That’s going to be fine. Fantastic even. Gulp.

Here goes…