Week 289- Dry January, Sugar-free February, bullshitting me.

Dry January. That went about as well as I could have anticipated. I didn’t drink for as long as the New Years Eve hangover lasted.

Which was cruelly lengthy.

But definitely not 31 days.

So I decide that I need to get a grip.

With the big 4-0 looming this year and the broken resolutions ringing in my ears, there was only one thing for it.

Sign up for a 5k run.

Week one of training goes by.

By ‘goes by’ I mean, I think about running but, Christ on a bike, it’s cold.

So I, instead, buy a new sports bra on line. That’s progress.

Week two and I sign up to a motivational running app. A mere £7.99 a month to listen to a woman who is shouty and really fucking harsh.

She’s all, ‘right lets sprint for two minutes and then you can relax into a revitalising jog.’

That’s the relaxing bit?

Are you shitting me, Rochelle? The last app got me to jog for a minute then walk/ have a sit down for the rest. 

I’m not jogging for a fricking rest, thanks.

Week three and it’s definitely too cold. It’s been snowing for fucks sake. No-one jogs in the snow, do they?

I’ve got a much better idea. I’ll sign up to no sugar February. That’ll do the trick. But keep the sponsorship low because I can’t really ask anyone to sponsor me to not eat a Twirl when other people are swimming the Channel for charity and stuff.  

It’s week four of  ‘training.’

I have been for one and a half jogs. Avoided eating anything mildly tasty. And thought about how I have one month to get fit for a race*.

It’s going well. 

Tonight I’ve watched three episodes of Suits in sportswear. I missed my window to go out for a run after episode two, so I’ll probably just get out of my unused sweatshirt and leggings and have a bath.

I feel like 2018 is going to be my year.

*As I’m making a MASSIVE deal about doing a 5k, it turns out my husband is doing a marathon several weeks afterwards that he’d forgotten to mention. Slightly regretting making SUCH a big deal about this now.