Well, when I say talk, I mean making sounds that kind of resemble real words if you were listening to them with ear plugs on underwater.
Like 'oosh' for shoes.
Or 'duddle' for cuddle.
That said, there are words that are very clearly identifiable.
'Mummy.' Which is a one-size-fits-all warrior-like cry, that starts at about 5am hollered from his cot and finishes with a shrill wail between sobs when he's overtired about 6.30pm.
Another word he says with remarkable clarity is 'dick.'
Normally after shouting 'mummy.'
'Dick, dick, dick, dick.'
Now, I know he's not actually calling me a dick.
But I'd be happier if he knocked that word on the head, whatever it means.
Mind you, he did call Ben a 'douche' the other day.
So maybe he's just a massively precocious, hugely sweary 19-month-old.
How the fuck did that happen?