It's called Clubbercise.
It's an exercise class disguised as a very early night out clubbing.
But instead of being in an actual club, it's in a community centre.
And instead of pulling your own moves, you are following a routine demonstrated by a buff, overly-tanned instructor wearing a luminous T-shirt with the slogan 'you sweat and I glow' on it, who screeches 'I LOVE THIS TUNE, I'M GETTING GOOSE BUMPS!' down his Madonna headset every five seconds.
But other than that it's exactly* like clubbing.
And they play 90s dance music.
And you get free glow sticks.
AND you can buy a whistle for a quid.
On top of that (wait, there's more?) you don't feel like shit the next day, there's no impending sense of doom about who you might have tried to get off with or why you've got a foot print on the back of your t-shirt.
But the best part is that, unlike clubbing when I used to roll in at the time I now get up with my children, Clubbercise finishes at 8pm so I could, if I wanted, be in bed by 8.20.
Now, try telling me that isn't the sensible future of going out?
*It's not even a bit like clubbing, not even going to a really shit club.