So. The word on the parenting street is boys are more difficult when they're little but get easier when they're older.
For the love of God, let that be true.
My son won't sit still.
Even in his sleep he slams his hand against the mattress like a wrestler tapping out.
And meals are more of a promenade thing.
He won't stay in a high chair for more than about 4 seconds, but you can feed him scraps while he's waddling around. He opens his mouth like a hungry bird then carries on cruising around the room.
His favourite things to do at the moment include:
Dropping connect four chips in your cup of tea
Sucking on your mobile phone until the screen starts to change colour
Climbing down off things head first and hoping someone is close enough to catch him before he smashes his head on the floor
Sticking his fingers so far up both of your nostrils that your eyes water.
I know this can't last forever.
I know it's just a phase.
I know there will be a point when he will stay in one place for more than a millisecond.
My worry is I'll have to wait another 17 years before it happens.