Nancy likes hanging out with Ben more than me.
I'm not being paranoid.
When it's just her and me we still have a nice time.
I make her laugh by blowing raspberries on her tummy. We can spend ages both shaking our heads to whatever Ken Bruce is playing in the morning. And there's nothing better than sitting on the floor, Nancy picking up a book from her shelf and climbing into my lap for me to read to her.
But if Ben's around, then it's game over.
I'd be lying if I didn't say it was a little bit heart breaking when she hears him in another room, immediately starts crying for him, then goes to the glass kitchen door and starts beating it with her little fists, The Graduate style.
There was a time when Ben would head out to work, and Nancy and I would happily wave him off, she'd forget moments later who she was waving at. Then, bam. She's hanging out with her number one bestie and having the time of her life.
Now, I have to prise her off Ben, finger by finger, as she arches her back and screams. Real tears rolling down her cheeks.
And she's formulated her first sentence. 'Bye bye Daddy.' She repeats it for anything up to an hour after he's left.
I know that it's just something that children do.
Can we have a bit of loyalty here.
I carried her for nine months. I've got stretch marks that a lifetimes supply of Bio Oil couldn't fix. I wasn't able to sit down for a month after birth. And my boobs still look like deflated water balloons.
I'm not saying I should be her favourite because my body carried the war wounds of pregnancy. But surely there was some serious bonding that went on when she was growing inside me, that must count for something.
The other day, as she and Ben were playing, she saw me approaching, and closed the door. It was like being at primary school all over again, and having to pair up with the dinner lady during country dancing cos no-one wanted to be my partner.
So I'm taking action.
I'm going to get some shit hot games for us to play. I've signed us up for another course of swimming lessons in the new year. And I'm going to start carrying a cash 'n' carry size bag of raisins with me at all times, as its the only food she'll willingly eat.
I'm going to pull a right number on her. She'll not know what's hit her. It's going to be funamundo.
I'll make her like hanging out with me again if it's the last thing of 2012 I do.